My apology

I apologize for not keeping many of you posted for so long. I'm also deeply regretting the way things have become 4 me as u may read.
Fri. night I knew I was in trouble when Mary txtd me to come home. I tried calling her but the noise of the bar where she worked made it difficult. I usually hang out with Eric & Susan Fri. eves. after work but I canceled.

when I got home, Jane was having a session with one of her clients. When they finished, she came into my room (across the hall from the dungeon) and asked if I was going 2 b around 4 weekend.

I said yes and sensed the tension between us. She led another client into the dungeon. I panicked and called/txtd or emailed everyone I knew. By then it was late Fri. eve (California time). I reached my BF, Mel, who suggested I txt Jane my pledge & do my chores really well the next day and hope 4 the best.

the next day (Sat. morning) I cleaned the dungeon early, went upstairs and saw a note from Jane 4 me. my heart pounded in fear.I thought she was going 2 tell me it was over. Instead it was a list of things she wanted me 2 do - like pick up her dry cleaning, get groceries, etc. I made coffee for us & went on the errands (I also gassed up Jane's car like Mel suggested). When I returned Mary took the food & said she would make us lunch. She advised me to continue tidying up the place and change into my leathers when I was done.

Jane, Mary & I sat down 4 lunch. We had small talk and Mary laughed occasionally to break up the tension. I could feel Jane was angry with me. At last she said, "are u going to b here today?"

I agreed. She pointed to the floor next 2 her. It was a signal 4 me 2 kneel at that spot. I moved into the position like I had done many times before. She pulled my hair and positioned hy head so I was looking up to her and said, "you have been very bad and you will have a long way 2 go b4 I will forgive u".

I felt both relieved and in dread at the same time. She wont throw me out but she probably has some intense punishment lined up for me.

"today," she said, "you will be working 4 me in the dungeon".

(more later)