Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Last weekend I met some of the other members in Jane's extended family as several of her friends visited.
Rick & his partner, Steve, came over Friday evening.
Rick said to Jane, "so this is your new pet?"
She said, "This is Dave. He might be my primary male if everything works out."
We chatted briefly and exchanged contact information. As I left the room, I overheard Rick say to Jane, "He does know you're a lesbian, right?" They went into Jane's "dungeon" for a session and left several hours later.
On Saturday, Sandra and Lea came over. Sandra was a close friend of Mary's (Jane's lover) - they tend bar at a lesbian club. Lea was Sandra's partner.
Jane introduced me to the women: "this is Dave. He's new to things and has a lot to learn. Please be nice to him".
Sandra quipped: "so this is Dave, Janey's slave". The women laughed.
The women decided to go shopping. Jane suggested I go with them. We piled into Jane's car and headed into the Valencia street area. We went to a bookstore and browsed titles. Jane took me to the "sexuality" section and suggested a couple of books that I look at. One was about bondage and the other a guide to anal sex. I read a little of each book and made a purchase. After this we had a coffee and walked into the local sex shop. In the smallish store, heterosexual and lesbian couples were purchasing condoms, vibrators, dildos, cock rings and lube. Jane asked a salesperson for help. A tall women approached. Jane explained that she had purchased one of their strap-on harnesses a while back and was wondering what kind of attachments to get for it.
"Is it for him? " the saleswoman asked, glancing at me.
"Yes, its for him, " Jane replied.
The salesclerk pointed to a row of dildos that were compatible to the harness Jane owned. The clerk also suggested that, "he should be broken in" with several different sizes of butt plugs that they had in stock.
I was a little anxious about purchasing the items.
"Don't worry, sweetie, " Jane said as she tapped my arm, "I'll teach you how to use these."
We then went to the bar where Mary worked. Mary saw us and suggested a table where she could serve us rounds and spend some time with us. Sandra and Lea eventually wandered off to meet other patrons. Lucy, a friend of Jane's, joined us. I recognized her from the BDSM club.
"So this is your boy, " Lucy said as she turned to me.
"Its my pleasure to meet you, " I said trying to make humor of her teasing.
"It will be my pleasure to meet you, " she said. The two women chuckled. They talked about the next BDSM party they planned to attend.
"Be sure to bring Dave with you," Lucy said as she left us.
We had a few more drinks and met other people. Mary told Jane that she would be home late. Jane hinted that it was time to go. We went back to the house. Jane kissed me on the cheek and said, "I like how you were with me today. Good night"
We went to our rooms.
Mary had come home later that night with her friend Maya. I met Maya in the morning as I was making coffee in the kitchen. She walked in wearing only panties and a bra. "Hi, I'm Mary's friend", she said as she took a seat. We talked about the school we both attended. Eventually Jane and Mary came into the kitchen and filled their cups with coffee.
Jane suggested we go for brunch in the Castro (a gay neighborhood of SF). We drove to a a small breakfast and lunch place with a patio in the back. There were mostly gay and lesbian couples eating there. Jane and Mary spotted their friends, Ken and Michael, who invited us to join them.
Jane introduced me: "Ken, Mike, this is Dave, my new boyfriend."
Michael said he thought he had seen me at the BDSM group a few weeks ago. I told him I was there with Jane.
"You were with Jane?" he asked.
"I came with someone else and met her there, " I replied.
"I meant, " he said, "you were in a scene with Jane?"
"Yes, " I admitted, feeling a little shy, "I've had several scenes with Jane. We first met there."
Then everyone chuckled. Ken said, "How sweet. We're happy that you go to the same parties that we do."
Monday, September 21, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
meet the ladies
I met my adopted family members, ladies J & M (I'm keeping their names to one letter to protect their identity). I was honored to attend their regular "community" meetings usually on Sundays when everyone is home. They welcomed me into the family. I told them I would do whatever was needed to get their respect and stay a member in good standing.
I'm a single guy living with two older single women. A pecking order has been established: J is the head of the household, M defers to J and I defer to J and M. They outlined the house rules - basically keeping the common areas neat, respecting their privacy, helping with common chores and attending community meetings. They understand my limited time commitment as I have a p/t job and attending college. With my carpentry skills, I will be keeping the house repaired. The roof has leaks, the porch railings are loose, the exterior needs a new paint job, etc... They also discussed some future projects they would like me to consider building (more on this in a future posting).
The women want me to read more about OPEN relationships as it will be a recurring topic in their meetings.
At the end of the meeting, we held hands in a circle. They said "Welcome to our home, Dave". I said: "I am honored to be a part of your family, [J & M]".
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Reassurances from KatAnxious/uncertain how to step up with gf (J). She wants me to move in and be a part of her POLY household where she is the head. She told me to learn-up about FLR & POLY. I read Tristan Taormino's book about "Opening Up" and would like to join J and her gf. BUT - J expects me to play the role of a submissive and to obey her (FLR).
So I read most of the FLR forum posts at:
But I was afraid to comment since I'm a total novice. So I entered into a chatroom with the sysadmin, Kat, to get advice on the forum. Excerpts of the chat are below.
I really appreciate Kat giving me her time.
I liked how she ended our long chat:
"...Just relax and don't worry so much. Don't over think it all. Just talk to her and see what her thoughts are. What she is expecting. I do think this is something you want deep down."
She's right, I do want to be with her (J) deep down. I do want to do what it takes.
Dave (7:07 PM): yes, she has indicated that she prefers I submit to her sexually. she will tell me what she expects & I am to comply.
gentleDomme (7:07 PM): yes
gentleDomme (7:07 PM): okay
gentleDomme (7:07 PM): good start
gentleDomme (7:07 PM): so, I have a question for you
Dave (7:08 PM): yes?
gentleDomme (7:08 PM): how are you feeling about all of this?
gentleDomme (7:08 PM): is it freaking you out a bit?
Dave (7:11 PM): I am feeling two emotions - I'm excited and I'm getting a little freaked by this. I want to please her - as I said last night - I adore her. But I also feel I'm walking on a tightrope - afraid of doing the wrong thing - or maybe this isn't what I would like, but afraid to say no...
gentleDomme (7:12 PM): yes, I think it is just a bit too new for you yet
Dave (7:13 PM): I still want to learn how to love her as she wishes
gentleDomme (7:13 PM): yes
gentleDomme (7:13 PM): and that is a great start
gentleDomme (7:15 PM): nothing wrong with being new at this
gentleDomme (7:15 PM): in fact, she will probably love it
gentleDomme (7:16 PM): because she can train you like she wants
I'm new and willing to learn from her. I hope she understands my situation and takes me up on my offer. I'm willing to do whatever it takes because deep down I do want to be with her .