Orgies: why I like them & what they mean to me

Orgies: why I like them & what they mean to me

I prefer orgies to one-on-ones. To me, even a 3some is an orgy. Even group kissing is to me an orgy of sorts. Orgies are different than swinging. In swinging 2 or more het. couples meet and swap partners. The men might tolerate a little FFaction, but definitely not MM! In an orgy, IMO, anything goes: MM, FF, BDSM, Fetish, etc. It just depends on who is attending. And it is also not uncommon for participants to move around between other men & women during play; there are no "limits". In my experience, most women seem to accept the possibility of an evening of lovemaking with other men & women. Most guys seem to want to play it either straight or gay. The "etiquette" of an orgy is that there are no limits (except SSC practices - all guys use condoms, etc. ) . Participants are discouraged from kicking back & watching;  they are urged to take part in whatever happens. Most of my friends are bi and get into the action without hesitation. With new people, there is often the initial shock of the orgy and they are wondering what they should do. One of the "veterans" will usually mentor or work wih the new people. We do not force people to do something thay do not want to or at least are not ready to do, especially bi stuff & BDSM.  Usually I'll make sure guys say they are "bi" or at least "bi-curious" before I invite them. My roomies qualify women similarly. What I look for is an open mind. If they act the least judgemental ("I don't do that..."), I usually don't invite them. If they day something like, "I'd consider doing that..." I figure there is a chance they will fit into the party.  Usually determined "straights" or gay guys will not feel comfortable in the orgy. I know gays who have said they have never had sex with a woman. If they say they would consider it if the mood was right, then I invite them. Gay guys often know how to have the best sex with other guys, especially butt sex.  I've known other guys who say that they are reluctant to do MM stuff but once they get in the groove of the orgy, they seem to like it. With women, they seem to initially resist but once the room heats up, they seem open to the possibility. There is also the stimulus synergy that good orgies have. Many women are turned on by MM action just as men are of FF action.  As the party heats up, participants do even wilder things, often activity they have never done such as BDSM. It seems if the other guy or girl is doing it, you don't seem to mind doing it yourself.

Enough about the preliminary general stuff. Here is what usually happens in orgies I participate in. I most often am in 3somes with my roomies and have described a typical scene in an earlier post. I'm also the +1 with het. couples (such as Eric & Susan as described in an earlier post.) Usually the guy is happily coupled with his gf but feels a part of him is not satisfied. He may not admit it if he has a rep. to keep but he is probably bi. If you're having sex with one gender & getting turned on by someone of another gender at the same time, you're probably bi. You can still identify as "het.". I know I do. I think if I eventually live with someone, it will probably be a woman or women as I do now (sorry guys). I like having sex with guys, but I'm just not entirely into gay relationships. Often gays resent my sexual orientation as if I'm fence sitting ("eventually you'll be gay like the rest of us"). If you think your gf or bf will not accept your "other side" (or may make a scene if you do things with the other gender), maybe orgies will work for you. You can always go home and dismiss your "bi" activities as "you were caught up in the moment". My roomies & I have had 4 & 5somes with guys or couples who will not acknowledge that they might be "bi". Sometimes these "straight" people make the best lovers.

(more later)

Dave turns 20!

Last month I turned 20. I was no longer a "teen". The change was only nominal; nothing of substance had changed in my life. In fact, my birthday started like the usual evening I have with Eric & Susan. I usually meet them at their flat in North Beach after work. They don't live there, they rent it for sessions with several others including Jane (one of my roommates).

I called Susan on her cell to let her know when I would be coming. She suggested I meet with her at the Caffe where Eric was working. Eric is a photographer and artists' model and is very much in demand. Even so, he has to work occassional shifts at one of the cafes in town to make ends meet. Susan is also a model and a pro domme. I met Eric at the open drawing session of the art school. I told him I admired his athletic physique. He liked my drawings and invited me up to the flat Susan and He rent nearby. Eric & I hit it off immediately. We do mostly kissing and some oral stuff. Since he is in an open relationship with Susan, he suggested I meet her someday. I met Susan with Eric a few days later and we hit it off really well. I guess I'm sort of the couple's "third wheel". Besides BDSM & sex sessions, we often do things socially like attend concerts, movies, caffes, etc. We have even gone shopping at a local sex shop where Susan suggested toys & devices that we could use during our evening play sessions. I now meet with them almost every Fri. eve. I usually do some sketches of them before we settle into our sessions.

As I said, this evening was a little different. I met Susan at the cafe where Eric was still waiting on tables. We were joined by Susan's friend, Kay, (another pro domme who also rents the flat) and her bf, Jason (Jas). Kay had just finished a session with a client and told us the flat was available for the rest of the evening for whatever we wanted to do. I guessed K & J knew the background of my relationship with Susan & Eric as they immediately sugegsted a 5-some with some BDSM. Eric brought a small makeshift cake with 1 candle, and two bottles of champaigne. He seemed to like the idea of the 5-some. Some of the staff joined in a round of "Happy Birthday" and laughed when Kay said she was going to give me 20 smacks on the ass. We hung around for a little more until Eric finished his shift and then walked up Grant to the flat.

The flat has one giant bedroom with what is called a "California King" bed which could sleep 4 or 5 comfortably. There are two end tables each with a large bowl filled with condoms of all kinds and sizes: lubed, non-lubed, ribbed, etc. There are bureaus against the back wall where each of the tenants store their "toys" and gear. The closet is full of fetish-wear. The kitchen is sparse. There are a few bottles of wine and several dozen bottles of lube & body oil in the refrigerator. We stored what was left of our champaigne there. Someone turned on the wide-screen television and tuned to a sex movie. The bathroom has a walk-in shower, a whirlpool hot-tub, bidet & toilet. I went in and took a quick shower. I dressed in a tiny leather jock I brought with me.

When I re-entered the room everyone was on the bed stipped down to their underwear or lingerie. Eric was chatting with Jas and Kay & Susan were kissing and giggling. I knelt at the foot of the bed and began massaging Susan's feet as Kay went on top of her. Susan was beginning to respond warmly to my foot worship. I worked my kisses up her thighs as Kay worked down her breasts with kisses. Eric began kissing Jas lightly.

(more later)