I prefer orgies to one-on-ones. To me, even a 3some is an orgy. Even group kissing is to me an orgy of sorts. Orgies are different than swinging. In swinging 2 or more het. couples meet and swap partners. The men might tolerate a little FFaction, but definitely not MM! In an orgy, IMO, anything goes: MM, FF, BDSM, Fetish, etc. It just depends on who is attending. And it is also not uncommon for participants to move around between other men & women during play; there are no "limits". In my experience, most women seem to accept the possibility of an evening of lovemaking with other men & women. Most guys seem to want to play it either straight or gay. The "etiquette" of an orgy is that there are no limits (except SSC practices - all guys use condoms, etc. ) . Participants are discouraged from kicking back & watching; they are urged to take part in whatever happens. Most of my friends are bi and get into the action without hesitation. With new people, there is often the initial shock of the orgy and they are wondering what they should do. One of the "veterans" will usually mentor or work wih the new people. We do not force people to do something thay do not want to or at least are not ready to do, especially bi stuff & BDSM. Usually I'll make sure guys say they are "bi" or at least "bi-curious" before I invite them. My roomies qualify women similarly. What I look for is an open mind. If they act the least judgemental ("I don't do that..."), I usually don't invite them. If they day something like, "I'd consider doing that..." I figure there is a chance they will fit into the party. Usually determined "straights" or gay guys will not feel comfortable in the orgy. I know gays who have said they have never had sex with a woman. If they say they would consider it if the mood was right, then I invite them. Gay guys often know how to have the best sex with other guys, especially butt sex. I've known other guys who say that they are reluctant to do MM stuff but once they get in the groove of the orgy, they seem to like it. With women, they seem to initially resist but once the room heats up, they seem open to the possibility. There is also the stimulus synergy that good orgies have. Many women are turned on by MM action just as men are of FF action. As the party heats up, participants do even wilder things, often activity they have never done such as BDSM. It seems if the other guy or girl is doing it, you don't seem to mind doing it yourself.
Enough about the preliminary general stuff. Here is what usually happens in orgies I participate in. I most often am in 3somes with my roomies and have described a typical scene in an earlier post. I'm also the +1 with het. couples (such as Eric & Susan as described in an earlier post.) Usually the guy is happily coupled with his gf but feels a part of him is not satisfied. He may not admit it if he has a rep. to keep but he is probably bi. If you're having sex with one gender & getting turned on by someone of another gender at the same time, you're probably bi. You can still identify as "het.". I know I do. I think if I eventually live with someone, it will probably be a woman or women as I do now (sorry guys). I like having sex with guys, but I'm just not entirely into gay relationships. Often gays resent my sexual orientation as if I'm fence sitting ("eventually you'll be gay like the rest of us"). If you think your gf or bf will not accept your "other side" (or may make a scene if you do things with the other gender), maybe orgies will work for you. You can always go home and dismiss your "bi" activities as "you were caught up in the moment". My roomies & I have had 4 & 5somes with guys or couples who will not acknowledge that they might be "bi". Sometimes these "straight" people make the best lovers.